2 stong character become a friend

COLLABORATION BY NABOKOV-CHAN AND BOTCHAN-CHAN


Htis is how kirby become a friend with master chief and how master chief get into super smash brothers

Mister chef is walking on the halo planet and he see light in sky.

I see light in sky", master chief. His face is frown but no one can see because his helmet.

"I must go and see what has caused me to see the light in the sky. I must go and see Investigate."
He take gun because he is Dangerous.

Light is Kirby on his pop star entering the atmosphere of the master chief planet. Kirby wave.

"Hi" Kirby wave.

"Hi Kirby" master chief nod.

But then aliens attack. Covenants come in big soaceships.

"Oh no" master chief shoot covenants but he run out of bullets.

"I am out of bullet". Master Chief.


"We need Gun" say kirby and then he eat the gun and become hte Gun.

"Bang bang" say kirby and He Shoot. He shoot many bullet and never run out and never give up and shoot all the covenants with the bullet he shoot.

"Wow say master chef good job. Good job shooting all the covenants."

"I come from game super smash brothers" answer Kirby with smile.

Come join he ask.

Ok say mister chief.

And he John.

Ad Nauseam

Did you know that you can name an anime series by producing basically any combination of sounds or words? Like, here:  Sword of Smärgnrl. Kokoro no Béchamel. Susume! Ghaghspgnh.
It's true, and it's awful.
– ♥, Nabocchan

It seems I've woken up on the floor again. The sun is just a little too bright this morning too, stabbing into the back of my skull. I try to roll over and the motion compresses my stomach, forcing vomit over the front of my shirt and onto the carpet.

I sit up straight in anticipation of more, and the idea hits me alongside the second wave of retching: Kiriko. There hasn't been one of those yet.

Brushing last night's cans off my desk, I begin the character sketch. It seems pigtail-types are on a resurgence this year, but I need something edgier. Definitely straight-bangs. And if I'm foregoing pigtails, I'd better have the breasts to back up the mature angle; maybe blonde hair to add some exoticism?

Kiriko will be a... solider. Who was recruited via video games. To fight aliens. With a special glowing M16 sword polearm thing. Maybe I can get some deal with the army, like a run of recruitment posters or something.

I'm out of cola but the whiskey bottle still contains a respectable amount. It would be a shame to waste it, so I drink my breakfast from a fast food cup.

Of course. She needs some distinguishing feature. Like an eyepatch. Except maybe that's too rough. An eyepatch... to conceal a differently colored eye. Which she's self-conscious about. Maybe because she has alien powers due to a tragic backstory? Heterochromia is a reliable flair, but it alone doesn't quite have the same marketability as other niche fetishes.

Maybe she lost an arm so she has a mechanical one, but out of habit she uses her feet to compensate. That hits a couple more demographics.

Her love interest and allies will be easy enough. Just take a few tried-and-true character traits, add a sexy body and some little idiosyncrasy and you can create anyone. For example: the sniper is a cute young-looking girl with pigtails and a verbal tick of ending sentences with ban. It doesn't have to mean anything, just exist. And we'll give her a knife strapped to her chest so pictures get passed around the internet like, “whoa, can you believe this cute girl has a knife?”.

I reach around and find some cold fries.

The thing about creating a niche market is, they like to think they're on some avant garde of consumerism. So you've gotta give them some stuff to know that others don't. Like the ban or that Kiriko's whole unit was wiped out. We'll show her being captured to give that whole pathetic appeal thing.

I stumble outdoors in search of lunch and end up dining al fresco in the park. KFC and a six pack: my standard fare. The shitty teenager at the counter was acting like I stank again—I guess I should have showered, but I have more important things to think about. The creation of art must take priority over everything else: I'm trying to make something timeless, and I think I'm onto something big.

Oh, right. I need a message. Uh, love and friendship conquer everything right? And as we long as we believe in ourselves and our friends like Kiriko we too can kill aliens. Our problems, that is. It's metaphorical.

HIDDEN ANIME SECRET MANGAKAS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!!

Welp, Nabocchan's been doing a great job maintaining this site while I've been doing nothing. I, Aleximander, Commander of the 32nd Squadron, the Vanguard of Heaven, the King of Angels, have returned to your mortal plane with a story to tell.

I heard this from a man who had no right left to live. You see he had read a tale my angelic hand had written.  Unable to cope with the fiction of an Ethereal Lord he promptly went mad. Curious at his ramblings I wrote down his words. The man later committed suicide by sawing at his neck with a broken CD, the words "MAKE ME IDEAL" scrawled upon it. Whatever the CD was originally made for, I'm glad it served a useful function in the end.

-Aleximander

In my meanderings through life I have discovered one essential truth. A Truth that shatters the chains that bind our society together. Chains that, once unbound, threaten the very plane of reality itself. 

All anime is connected.

I discovered this truth only by watching over seventy gigs of pirated anime (direct import from Japan, no less!).

My first inkling was midway through popular anime series Ore no Imoto ga Konnani Kawaii Wake ga Nai(OreImo). During season 2 of it's run,

I found an explicit reference to equally popular series Sword Art Online in the form of protagonist Kirito in figure form sitting on a shelf.

The truth was drawn before me then in all it's 2d glory. How could I have missed it before?

Kirito. Kirino.

I must have been blind!

There's more. You see, whilst scrolling through DeviantArt, premiere place to find real american mangakas of unparelleled art skill, I found even more proof of my theory.

I was photoshopping my waifu-Yoko from Gurren Lagann-with Rei Ayanami from Evangelion as a crossover pairing for my newest fanfic. But get this! If you make their pictures black and white and erase the hair, they look exactly the same!

I looked into it. Turns out a lot of heroines in today's anime world look nearly identical. These are characters we devote our lives to! How could I have been so blind!

Not to mention the personalities! After several hours into searching Urban Dictionary, I found that most characters in anime can be broken down into several archetypes. How could I have possibly known Kirino was a Tsundere! I thought her persona was entirely unique to herself!

This is true suffering. Have I finally ascended beyond the grasp of God? I have attained universal wisdom- these facts that no one else besides me could have possibly discovered. But what does one do with ultimate power? There is no doubt in my mind that I was the only one capable of harnessing this knowledge, but can I ever think of my beloved Yoko as a human being again? I even bought her body pillow recently to consummate our love!

But there is hope. This years new anime releases all look so good! Everyone is so moe I could almost die, and every show seems so invigorating and inspired! I just have to forget this nagging inside me and be proud to wear the name Otaku!!!! I wish I wasn't so alone though, but 3d women are such sluts! Thankfully I only need my Yoko to be happy.

Why is Japan the only place producing quality content? I can't wait until I move overseas to pursue my own career as mangaka. All the kawaii japanese ladies will flock to me, and my favorite mangakas like the guy who produced Naruto will come to me and say something like "damn this guy has talent" but in japanese.

To you who reads this: Do not pursue my line of thinking further. What will our world be without the loving, embracing arm of anime? More culturally inspired? More artistically diverse? Don't be such a baka! Anime is the future! One day when all the cynics just shut up and die and all the 3d sluts wither away I will be at the top of the pantheon! Anime will be real and the chosen ones like myself who have followed the Rules of Waifuism to a tee will be drinking our canned coffees in Tokyo!

That is all.

                Creation demands sacrifice. At the very least, the time necessary to produce something can be represented as an opportunity cost. I pay a price for each awful offering I set before you, burning myself at the pyre of meme.

                Inevitably, as my life slips away under the weight of accumulated loss, I will sink into the gentle oblivion of gathered memes. Subsumed by my sins, all differences between myself and the characters I write will evanesce until there is only the incarnation of Meme, the realization of an ideal through its searing inscription upon my mortal form.
               Heroes have been immortalized for as much. Souls have been damned for much less.
– ♥, Nabocchan


Survival of the Shittest: Why Every Animal is Terrible
By: Me, a PhD (Pretty hard Dude)

“Natural Selection almost inevitably causes much Extinction of all the cool forms of life and induces what I have called a Proliferation of Dumb Bullshit.”

—Charlie D

Okay so you know natural selection right? Where everything that can’t live dies and then the stuff that lives or whatever makes a lot more of itself?

I’m here to tell you why it’s the worst.

So say you have two animals. A lizard and a dragon. The dragon is, objectively speaking, way cooler. It fulfill the Fundamental Criteria of Radness, which I will set forth as follows:

-Big
-Flies
-Nearly invincible
-Breathes fire
-Not dumb

As such, it should follow that the dragon would be favored to reproduce and make little dragons everywhere and the lizard would go straight to hell for being essentially a worse dragon.

But as it so happens, being rad is not a determinant of survival. The dragon uses up too much energy on cool shit so it dies and the asshole lizards just spread everywhere and lay in the sun like little idiots. We can see this time and time again: the Megalodon is replaced by the (still cool, but less so) normal-sized sharks, dinosaurs become chickens, insects become smaller insects. The essential mechanism governing propagation is on an unalterable trajectory toward Darwin’s “Dumb Bullshit”. Everything is just becoming less cool all the time.

If you think I’m going to stop and make an exception for humans think again buddy, because humans prove the rule. An ape can, like, tear off your arm and beat you to death with it. Can you do that? Didn’t think so. All we get are dumb things like being able to talk so we can complain about how much we want to be apes instead.

You know what would be way better than that? Swinging around in a tree and being super strong.

So if everything is terrible what should we do about it? Just use our stupid human vocal tracts to whine?

No, I propose we do something. We can’t reverse-engineer everything exactly because Jurassic Park proved that we aren’t able to handle animals that intense anymore. But what if we mixed animals instead? We could create new cool shit like man-sharks and lion-birds.

I’ll admit I’m no geneticist, but I know we can make all kind of things that are like, what? So I’m sure someone can figure out how to make something awesome. In the meantime, I implore you: compile a list of which hybrids would be coolest. We’ll need them someday soon.