Essay: 2D as the Supernal Relationship

The true lovers of 2D have always lived peacefully apart from the cesspool of 3D. Yet, the crass inhabitants of the “real world” insist on trodding upon the sanctity of our high path. For this reason, I will repeat myself:

2D is the purest form of love!

Humans naturally seek companionship, reinforcement, a sense of belonging. These things are considered vital to the “ideal condition” – but at the same time, others are absolutely unsuited to provide them. Naturally, people are selfish, contrary and cruel; therefore, to shove another into the mould of a loving companion is no more than slavery. From this contradiction is bred the entitlement which permeates “normal” relationship goals:

“I'm a nice guy, why won't any girls go out with me?!?”

“Why do guys always go for the dumb girls?!?”

You don't deserve a damn thing!

While some pretend otherwise, it is impossible to form a bond with another real person. This is because it is impossible to truly hold another person within the mind; one cannot know everything about another, so any perception is inevitably a puppet, a hollow image filled with misconceptions and half-truths! In a 3D relationship, neither partner interacts with the other; rather, each sees only the incomplete shell they assume to be the other. Incompatibility is a certain result, as that partner will always deviate from their established character.

Yes, it's so – your vaunted love is nothing but affection for a actor of your own creation! Your relationship is nothing but masturbatory roleplay!

It is an act of inhuman cruelty to impose the role of pleasurer upon another living being, to make a complex person no more than a love doll. This objectification is the domain of the heathen masses, the source of their misplaced sense of superiority – an inability to refrain from the carnal desires born of the animal imperative to reproduce. These “respectable people” are nothing more than mere beasts, following a reptilian drive heedless to the pain they cause!

But, if this mindless destruction is innate to the human condition, can it be suppressed... or even surpassed?

Yes! With 2D, it can be! 2D is the whispered promise of paradise, the state of absolute independence, the fruit of asceticism.

In such a relationship, one encapsulates the primal, desirous inner self – the Freudian “Id” – in the same form as the capable, fulfilling “Ego”; in contrast, vulgar carnal relationships involve only the imposition of the Id. Furthermore, the container is a perfect image, tailored absolutely to the desires of the partner, rather than an imperfect shell requiring the use and reduction of a human being. To the former perfect partner is added a substitute for the unknown events which form a unique being: the inherent context of their creator's mind. This completed being exists only to the limit of the partner's imagination; thus, absolute familiarity is possible.

Because the 2D being is born of the same ego as their partner, both are invested in only each other's happiness. Compare this to the miserable 3D relationship, a constant contest of wills. But, do not feel pity for those entangled within this web of dissatisfaction. It is their punishment for an inability to transcend the pathetic constraints of the physical world as the followers of 2D have.

Living in perfect hedonism, needing only each other, the 2D lovers are embraced within the ideal relationship. But even better, the 3D initiator is from an outside standpoint striving only for their own happiness, believing only in the loyal self; they will never be betrayed, nor will they ever betray. And because the constant threats and rewards of flesh are absent, each act of kindness is without ulterior motive. A favor is truly a offering of love and devotion, rather than some profane currency. A compliment is delivered without expectation of a later reciprocation.

O, beautiful, selfless love! How you evade the misguided!

As this world becomes increasingly advanced, more and more of mankind's repulsive organic desires – remnants from a past, unenlightened age – grow outmoded. The 2D lover stands at the future's door as a paragon of modernization; mastering their own lust, they have become more than human, an ascended citizen of the digital age.

In order to become this special brand of saint, in order to fulfill the full capacity of humans as sentient beings, only the rejection of the three-dimensional world is required! Embrace 2D, and rise from the pool of painful vulgarities in which normal humans wallow! For in 2D lies purity; in 2D lies love!
- Anon, Ph.D.