Con Advice

Please enjoy this anonymously submitted convention advice.

Here. Look, I'm posting it. Please stop sending this in.
– ♥, Nabocchan

So I'm three buffalo wings away from midnight and I see some sort of poppin corn man selling corns loaded with Japanese peels and far-off salts. Well naturally I'm jonesin' for a bag so I toss him three fifty and three hours later I'm retching through my hands into a mug with my face on it. Turns out I thought I'm allergic to chilis. Turns out I'm a hypochondriac.

All I'm saying is you gotta be careful when you Persephone around the Naruto counter because you're never going home, you get what I mean, you're never going home. And when you end up at the reception with pockets full of vinyl asking where everyone went you're not going home, right.

Listen. Some things in life are important. Drink your waters. Pack folded clothes. Don't step around front of cars en route, right. But you have to know when there's a line and when you have to draw it and how to draw it. You have to stand up and say why is my phone full of little buzzing demons and where are the digits.

Stuff like that. Wine-dark sea, right.

Yeah, I've tasted a number 'n odd of pages in my lifetime. But let me tell you, that don't mean much when you're doin' the opposite of eating in a Marriott parking lot and the lil' soccer sportsmen won't stop starin'. Don't mean a lot in that real world, right.

You've gotta have a plan, right. A mode d' attack. Don't you be caught lollygaggin' up that hill all twainsy-turvsey. And stay away from the Halloweeners and Narutoids. They're never coming home.